It's been a little over seven weeks since I moved out, and four weeks since I first posted about my vision statements. Since the beginning of the year I've had a wide range of emotions that have both empowered me, and debilitated me. I am the type that always like to Google my experiences in order to validate them and pinpoint where I am in the process of something so I can anticipate what is coming next...So naturally, that's what I did.
After staring at this "graph" for a minute, I realized that I am no better informed of where I am at than I was before looking for it. I know I didn't go through a divorce, but I feel like so many of my experiences in the last couple of weeks can be in multiple places in this graph. For one, I don't think I was truly in shock until the end of January....unless the shock being referred to here is a sense of apathy? Paving the way for your own emotional journey is HARD. So, instead of trying to read a graph that someone else created (probably for the sake of their own healing), I decided to chart my emotions each day.
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| Credit: https://nakeddivorce.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/EmotionDiagram_ForBlog_570px.jpg |
This great mood chart is a page from my new planner that I use from Silk and Sonder. It's a guided monthly planner that is focused on self-wellness, reflection, and growth. TOTALLY my cup of tea. It fits both my planner addiction, and my monthly subscription box addiction. 😂😂 So with this mood chart, I have committed to reflect on my daily emotions, and being present. While I have experienced a variety of moods each day, as you can see, there definitely are some patterns.
So with the entire intention of becoming more present, goal oriented, and taking things at face value, this has been a great starting point. From that page, I move on to my habit tracking page, where I can track up seven habits I would like to focus on for the month. I have chosen to make my habits aligned with my two vision statements I have committed to work on first-- body, and finance.
As you can see, February has been quite the roller coaster...But, after the very underwhelming birthday where I realized I have a ton of fake friends that don't really care I decided it was time to get back to the grind. The 21st.....definitely spent a lot of money...but I'll get to that in a minute....
Let's talk progress.
Body Vision: I am confident and love looking in the mirror
Starting off with a quote from last time: "2 years ago, I weighed 130 pounds. Today, I am 151"
The past month I have been a lot more conscious of the food I am putting in my both, and also the quantity. I am trying to be very in tune with my hunger, and stopping eating when I'm full..... Now, for a person who has ZERO self control, and has to finish everything on their plate, regardless of how much is there...that has been difficult. For that reason, I haven't been expecting stellar results. On top of it my ankle started acting up again, causing severe pain and swelling so I haven't been able to work out. Turns out, I had a permanent stitch in there that was not having it and had to have it immediately taken out in surgery last week. Wah wah.
However, I felt the need to step on the scale for the first time in a week or two just for progress measures.
145. 145. 145!!!! Remarkably, I have lost 6 pounds in a month. Now, do I think a good chunk of that may be muscle mass? You betcha! (That's not good, but you know how I am always over enthusiastic when I talk). I also understand water can do a lot to someone's weight throughout the day so I'll take that into account. However, with that being said, it is clear that I'm a.) not eating as many large portion sizes, and b.) not stress eating QUITE as much. Did I have that bender last month with the M&Ms? Yes. Did I make an intentional plan to gorge on Taco Bell two weeks ago? Absolutely. But then the next morning I woke up and measured out my oatmeal, almond milk, and protein powder. Instead of continuing to suck I just hop right back on and get back to it. I'm hoping this weekend will allow me enough time to plan out my meals for the next couple of weeks, and also get back to yoga. I get my stitches from my surgery taken out Monday so I am desperately hoping I will feel up to going to class Monday or Tuesday.
So there's that...
Finance Vision: I am debt free in 2021.
So with the entire intention of becoming more present, goal oriented, and taking things at face value, this has been a great starting point. From that page, I move on to my habit tracking page, where I can track up seven habits I would like to focus on for the month. I have chosen to make my habits aligned with my two vision statements I have committed to work on first-- body, and finance.
As you can see, February has been quite the roller coaster...But, after the very underwhelming birthday where I realized I have a ton of fake friends that don't really care I decided it was time to get back to the grind. The 21st.....definitely spent a lot of money...but I'll get to that in a minute....
Let's talk progress.
Body Vision: I am confident and love looking in the mirror
Starting off with a quote from last time: "2 years ago, I weighed 130 pounds. Today, I am 151"
The past month I have been a lot more conscious of the food I am putting in my both, and also the quantity. I am trying to be very in tune with my hunger, and stopping eating when I'm full..... Now, for a person who has ZERO self control, and has to finish everything on their plate, regardless of how much is there...that has been difficult. For that reason, I haven't been expecting stellar results. On top of it my ankle started acting up again, causing severe pain and swelling so I haven't been able to work out. Turns out, I had a permanent stitch in there that was not having it and had to have it immediately taken out in surgery last week. Wah wah.
However, I felt the need to step on the scale for the first time in a week or two just for progress measures.
145. 145. 145!!!! Remarkably, I have lost 6 pounds in a month. Now, do I think a good chunk of that may be muscle mass? You betcha! (That's not good, but you know how I am always over enthusiastic when I talk). I also understand water can do a lot to someone's weight throughout the day so I'll take that into account. However, with that being said, it is clear that I'm a.) not eating as many large portion sizes, and b.) not stress eating QUITE as much. Did I have that bender last month with the M&Ms? Yes. Did I make an intentional plan to gorge on Taco Bell two weeks ago? Absolutely. But then the next morning I woke up and measured out my oatmeal, almond milk, and protein powder. Instead of continuing to suck I just hop right back on and get back to it. I'm hoping this weekend will allow me enough time to plan out my meals for the next couple of weeks, and also get back to yoga. I get my stitches from my surgery taken out Monday so I am desperately hoping I will feel up to going to class Monday or Tuesday.
So there's that...
Finance Vision: I am debt free in 2021.
When I wrote last month, I said my debt count was at: "$10,786." Now I have no idea where I got that number looking back...because the calculations I later made, and recording gave me a grand total of "12,439." Even better. 😒
Not.
And so my work began. Ultimately, I did fairly well in January with my spending, with a couple of larger purchases for home items, such as my new arm chair that still hasn't shipped, a new coffee table, and materials to make a new dining room table. And then in February the same thing happened, where I was doing pretty well and then my anniversary, Valentines, and my birthday happened. I went on a bender for home items to make me feel better and so I would have pretty things to look at: a new rug for my bedroom, $130 at home depot to buy dirt and grass seed, and another $130 at the plant store to buy a couple of huge but awesome plants for my house (I needed fresh air!). Oh, and the desk I bought for my office, and then the camera I bought so I can stare at Luna while I'm at work all day. Yeah....that doesn't sound very good at all. BUT I do enjoy looking around my house now! (Jennifer, you're a moron. Stop complaining about money, and then spending it all).
Let me get to the "good part." With that being said, I was able to make another $1,000 payment on my Chase Sapphire card, $200 towards my Amazon Prime Visa, $200 towards my Discover Card, and $75 for my Bank of America card.
Then, for the GREAT part!! I took my entire tax return this year, and applied it to my student loan balance. So now, I have officially paid off all of my student loans!!!! That is EXCITING!!!
So, about 1 month after my last post, I've gone from $12,439 in debt, to $10,113. I'll take it. While $1500 of that was a one time thing with my tax refund, it still feels GREAT to see that number start to dip. March will have it's challenges coming, with the largest one being my week in Cuba. You can't avoid spending money when you're traveling, especially since we are going in Support of the Cuban People. Cannot wait for the adventures and to come back and share my wonderful experiences!
Either way, things are looking up! Or should I say down 😆
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